LoVe AT FIRST SiGhT ?!

As I walked in between the pillars at my school talking to my friend about the school dance coming up oct 31st I thought about how great it would be to have a boyfriend to go with. We talked about all the potential guys that are our friends in our clique but none seemed right. We passed this boy or more like he passed us he had brown skin and two braids in his hair wearing Air Force ones with dark blue jeans and a white top with a strange pattern . When he passed he smiled at me and I smiled back he said “what ?” In a weird flirting way and I said the same back and both laughed and kept walking . Right when he moved I seen the guy that would change my life forever . He was tall light skin like high yellow and he had two braids as well wearing a grey hoodie and some jeans he looked so basic yet he wasn’t I looked over to my friend and said hey who’s that she then said “who Dex ” and I said “yea Dex”and right then and there I felt my world change and I never even officially met him we just watched him pass turns out he was in my class but I had never noticed him . Ever since that day nothing has been the same it was love at first sight for me even though I was only 13 my heart was beating out of my chest and as years went by nothing ever changed he was like a super star to me and I was his number one fan . I had a crush for about 3 years . I’d always chicken out when I said I’d tell him how I felt I was too scared of rejection. During these 3 years I spent two of them in the friend zone and one actually making it up there in the big girl section and somehow I made it to being his girl twice the first time I asked him out 10*25*14 and the next time we went out it was 5*5*15 (no one asked any one out we just knew )and that only lasted one month but for me it was one month with the title girlfriend but in my head I was always his girl b4 we were together and after we broke up . Most people will probably say I’m crazy but I don’t think so I think I just have a piece of him embedded in me when we would talk it would and still does make me super happy he was my whole heart my world my everything I couldn’t go a Day with out talking to him that was my best friend he was the true definition to my other half . We broke up went to other schools and he was still my main priority whether he knew it or not I became bat shit crazy,I lurked so hard y’all don’t understand once we broke up I followed his new school Instagram page created a fake page and followed all his new friends and family . my new friend I met at my school understood what I was going through and ironically he ends up in a program with her they became friends and so she kept me updated about his life with shit he told her or she seen and I even occasionally picked her up from her program just so I could see hI’m I know I sound desperate and all that but I cared and still do care about him and his safety he is my heart it’s self and I don’t know how to live properly without him somewhere in it . After the break up we stopped talking and that was the hardest part of it all loosing my best friend so I did all that to still have a piece of him I guess but it really didn’t matter because we started talking again on and off and I now realize all that stalking was for no reason at all because he didn’t want me looking out for him in the only crazy strange creepy way I knew how,it wasn’t my job to do so especially at the age of 15 . Time goes on from ages 13-17 I have this weird pull connection to him and I feel like it’s one sided because of course he shows no interest in me and that should be a good enough reason to stop chasing but it isn’t now and it wasn’t then . Sometimes I feel like I’m asking to get hurt when I chase after him but I can’t help it I’m an addict and he’s my one drug . And I’d do anything just to get close to him even though he betted on me and he said fuck me and completely ignored me at a game as I stood dead in his face trying to get his attention I went home crying that night I was humiliated in front of my friends. Yet I’d run back to him in a heartbeat if our situation ever changed . You know how there is somebody for everybody I honestly and truly believe he is my somebody and if I was religious I would say I am his rib because in the Bible it says woman are created from a mans ribs and that is how perfectly I feel we match . Most people would call me dumb but I say I am optimistic about what could happen between us in the future even with all our mistakes and current hatred going on . I know he is my one I could just feel it running through my veins and in my gut that it is us two us two against the world and if not me and him , me and who ?

Published by shayberryblog

just a creative writer exploring the little universe in my mind :)

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