What a year of Celibacy has taught me.

Was it worth it ? Would I do it again? what did I learn ?

why did I decide to be celibate ?

Last year, I had an intense break up with my ex and it really hurt me. I hate feeling vulnerable and wounded so, I decided to send him a long text about being over him. After I did that fake I’m so happy for you bullsh*t. I redownloaded Tinder and started swiping. I Also texted my ex boyfriend who I was basically obsessed with and started up a flame again I basically threw myself back into the dating single life hard hoping to not feel anything and I crashed. I had sex with my ex and this is how F*cked up I am, I stay drinking dumb b*tch juice because I bought the hotel we stayed in !!! yes, you heard me right I payed for the hotel. Anyway it was not what I was expecting and after that I decided I was done and I needed to just heal and stop making toxic hurt decisions.

What did I learn ?

When I first started to reflect I thought I did not learn anything. I did not do this celibacy thing right because I did not go out on dates with myself or do all the other things other people have done. I was wrong, on my sex sabbatical I did not speak to guys who were trying to flirt with me I did not give out my number or entertain men or women I stayed away from all things lovey and intimate. This showed me who really wanted to be with me and those who just trickled in.

During this time I did not date myself but I did go on a self journey. I raised my standards no longer accepting the bare minimum because I’m a bad b*tch and I deserve to have dates planned out and initiated my the guy. I deserve to be CHASED because I am a catch and if he does not act like the man I deserve than he can’t be my man and that’s on periodT, honey.

I also started working out focusing on my health and getting my revenge body popping. I started this fitness journey out of anger and hurt and its been giving me confidence and strength in myself. Now I am doing this for me. I am fasting and eating better actually taking care of myself again mentally and physically.

Also I’ve advanced in my career pretty fast. I used to work for a retail fashion store and now I am a paid intern at labor union ! I focused all my energy into myself and my friends and family and I made it through this year. I came out of it even more successful.

Would I do this again ?

I would definitely do this again. It kept me grounded in myself and it kept me intentional in my actions.

I would like to recommend you to try it. It doesn’t have to be for a year maybe just 1 month and write down and notice your actions and how you are changing. Maybe do a gratitude journal and answer self-discovery questions.

  1. What is your biggest fear ? How can you accomplish it ?
  2. What is your view on life ? why do you have this view?
  3. Whats your biggest insecurity & how can you take steps to love it ?
  4. What do you love about your self the most? why?
  5. when are you at your happiest? how can you be their more ?

Ultimately it was challenging because I had all these options of instant pleasure and happiness even if it was only for a day. On the lonely days it sounds like heaven but that’s when you throw your energy into something else or reflect ask yourself why are you having theses feelings?

Published by shayberryblog

just a creative writer exploring the little universe in my mind :)

3 thoughts on “What a year of Celibacy has taught me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: