First I would like to start off by saying hello everybody sorry I’ve been gone for a while I’ve been happy and in love. Did a bit of traveling, I can’t wait to share with you all about my trip. Everything has been going really well now but before I was in a deep depression, at random times. I couldn’t figure out why over the past 3 years My emotions was all over the place. I already would cry at random moments in conversation r songs but now its heighten and overwhelming and it made me develop some scary thoughts about (tw) taking my own life. I recently discovered in the pit of my last depression episode that my birth control is the only major change I’ve had those years ago when this all started.
Why did I start birth control?
I started to be on birth control after my last high school boyfriend. I was not having sex with anyone else but him and I knew I didn’t want any children and he didn’t either. We both had fears of being young parents like our parents had been with us. He never asked me to get on birth control and I was never pressured into doing anything I didn’t want to do. It was all my decision, on my own because I just knew I didn’t wanna have kids that badly. Maybe one day I will have kids but as of now and at that moment when I decided to get on birth control. I had a strong opinion of not being a teenage mother. My mother had got pregnant around 18/19 years of age, I had just surpassed that and I wanted to keep it that way. So I decided to get on birth control.
I personally took a trip to my local but not so local Planned Parenthood because at the time I felt that people were looking at me like I was a slut or a whore going for an abortion‘s or having some type of STD not that getting abortions are bad or that having an STD makes you like a bad person but that’s how often times the society at large makes us feel about those things and people with those conditions. So, at that time it was only natural that as a young woman I also felt that way about those things and I was so worried about what other people thought of me and what they would say.
So I didn’t go to the Planned Parenthood that was like right down the street from my house I went to one that was like down the street around the corner, all in a different part of town like across town. The process was a little complicated to me at the time because I didn’t have all my insurance information but if you have your insurance card- (assuming you have insurance) it is very simple you just go to the website and type in what services you need and the date. They ask you for your insurance and if you don’t have insurance they ask you for other information so there’s that.
Then it’s simple you just set your appointment and when that day comes you go, you sign in and they have you fill out some forms. Please make sure you bring your insurance card if you have one and your ID. When you are going to your appointment and they share all of this information with you and they talk to you about about your body and your test results or whatever you would like to start doing an birth control or whatever other types of contraception you would like to try and procedures you would like done, questions that you have they’re all completely private and they are not allowed to tell anyone not even your parents. so, you don’t need to like have to worry about your privacy being exposed and that’s how I felt when I first went in. I felt like someone was going to know all my business which is why I didn’t want to go anywhere near my house or my school or my neighborhood where anyone who knew me can see me.
Types of Contraceptives
- Sterilization- permanent
- Implant – goes into the arm and is the size of a toothpick
- IUD- goes in your uterus can last 3-5 years
- Depo shot- once every 3 months, can cause weight gain
- Patch- change weekly, skin could get irritated
- Pill- take daily, very small taken orally
Contraceptives I have tried
I have tried different types of contraceptives, one of them being condoms they’re great to use and you should use them to prevent yourself from getting any type of diseases and to stop you from having a baby if that’s not something you are prepared for financially, mentally and physically. However they are not always effective and I wanted a little extra support in my #Nobabiesjourney. The first contraceptive I tried of birth control would be the patch and I tried to patch because I only had to change them once a week and they are on your skin you don’t have to consume them or get them surgically input. I knew that as a young person as a young woman I am not fucking responsible like sometimes I forget things and I just know that birth-control is not one of the things I wanna forget like I don’t wanna make a oopsie baby and you can tell how adamant I am and how many times I’ve said in this post that I don’t want to have kids at a young age. I’m taking control an agency over my body in my life and making sure that that doesn’t happen until I’m ready for it to happen. That’s also why I did not do the pills for a birth control contraceptive because you have to take it every day at the same time Monday – Sunday at whatever time you choose every day. And I don’t know about you but I’m just not responsible enough to remember to do something at the same time every damn day. Hell I barely remember to feed myself, how am I supposed to remember to take a pill? Also I have trouble swallowing pills in general and all forms so it just doesn’t seem like the best option for myself however if you can swallow pills and you seem to be very responsible in your own eyes and have heard that from others. Ive heard my friend say she sets an alarm to help her. I know that at 7 o’clock every day I’m not gonna go out and just take my pill if you feel you can do that or that you are going to keep that up I would definitely recommend going on the pill.
However, the bad boy that we are here to dissect is the Nexplanon birth control contraceptive that I’m sure we’ve all seen the commercial for on YouTube advertisements on television on fucking TikTok of Vanessa Hudgens talking about how it’s for “every day people and actresses too” and all that other shit. No this is not to say that Nexplanon was bad or good. I am writing this blog post to share my experience and hopefully help other people because I definitely learned something that was not told to me in the beginning of taking this birth control process.
So far, what is Nexplanon ?
Nexplanon is a tiny Flexi rod that goes into your arm and immense hormones that protect you from having a child.
It is a surgical procedure. I went into the examination room. I lay down on the table and put my arm out. They gave me lidocaine to numb the area of my arm and then after my arm was numb they just used a needle to insert the Flexi rod. It was a really quick procedure and I didn’t feel a thing.
I thought this to be the best option for me because Nexplanon is advertised as the birth control that you just put in your arm and go buy your day. Whichever way it’s true I didn’t worry about if I was going to get pregnant or if I would forget to take it or do whatever to make sure that it worked. It was all very simple: keep the birth-control you put on and it works for up to 3 to 4 years. And honestly at the time that’s all that was important to me was just making sure that I didn’t have any children. However, another one of my priorities should’ve been my mental health and the way that my body would react to the birth-control considering that I had never been on it before prior to the three months of wearing the patch.
Are there any side effects ?
I there are multiple side effects that I will list here:
- Heavy bleeding
- Ovarian cyst
- Weight gain/loss
However mine I believe were:
- weight loss
- lighter periods
- Mood swings and depression
- Heighten anxiety
A lot of the effects for me were mostly emotional which is why I had also decided to get off of Nexplanon. When I started Nexplanon I was kind of in a weird place I had just gotten out of a relationship with my first real long-term boyfriend, I was starting college and I was going through a unstable housing situation. All of these very big changes at the time and I didn’t really register them all or process them I just shut everything out and started smoking more weed and isolating myself. Not saying this is because of the birth control but I am saying that the birth control did not help with me already being in a depressive state the birth control only exacerbated that and at the time I was in the eye of the storm I could not identify that as a cause of my depression worsening. Also if you are struggling from depression or anxiety please have a serious conversation with your doctor before you get on any sort of hormonal birth control because depression is a real side effect that is not talked about and I wish that my medical provider would’ve mentioned that, if I was already depressed it would’ve only made it worse. So while I was in the eye of the storm I was not able to identify that maybe the birth control was not a great thing for me because there was all these other things that were happening that were also not great things for me that honestly seemed more important and also may be because I was just so focused and happy About being responsible about my sexual health and “being sexually liberated” that I really didn’t see any negatives of the birth control.
I would shout it from the rooftops “I am on Birth control, I can no longer have kids. Not having any kids, not having kids, and not having kids” and again I want to reiterate that that’s not saying that I will never have any kids just saying that I was very adamant and still am very adamant about not having kids until I am ready.
I also struggle with body dysmorphia which often leads me to participate in unhealthy activities like starving myself or binge working out and eating being very harsh on myself about loosing weight. Several of these things I have felt about myself before but never in the way that I was feeling it now and I have the attachment style of anxious avoidant I don’t like to tell people about things that are going on with me which leads me to bottle them up which also as we know can be very harmful to our mental health which also contributed to me isolating myself more and ending a lot of the long-term friendships and relationships I had because I was going through something and I just didn’t know how to talk about it then. I didn’t know how to be vulnerable with people so I just did what I know how to do which is shut them out and be alone. I had a really hard time dealing with this especially when I started to notice the difference in changes in myself and I couldn’t pinpoint what had happened what changed about me I used to be so happy so 🙂
I still had body dysmorphia and eating issues but not as bad as they were now now I felt like they were unbearable now I was starting to have suicidal thoughts I started to not wanna be here on this earth anymore and that became very scary and it wasn’t up until recently where I realized you know maybe it’s my birth control because I was not feeling this way until I started taking this medication three years ago. So I did my investigative research and I went on TikTok and I watched a video of this one girl telling me about her experience a Nexplanon through pictures and it was just before pictures of her smiling living her life and then afterwords it was a bunch of pictures of her crying and being sad and depressed and the caption was what they don’t tell you about and I felt like that and I was like this is exactly the way that I feel and so I went on Google and I started to do my research and I realized maybe this wasn’t the best option for me and that is why I also decided to get it removed four days after figuring out that it might be my birth control. I know I don’t want to have kids young I also know that I need to learn how to protect my mental health and figure out what that means for me and there are other ways that I could prevent myself from having children young that do not fuck with my head.
What is the removal process like?
The removal process for myself was very simple. Similar to the process of them putting it in my arm. My doctor numbed the area and then she made a half an inch incision and reached in and pulled out the little white rod. I was really scared because like I mentioned earlier I have had it in for 3 years and there is a possibility that it could drift elsewhere in your arm or body that makes the removal process more difficult or impossible w/o surgery. My doctor also mentioned that it is possible that the rod breaks in half inside your arm upon retrieval. So knowing those things did not ease my mind but luckily it came out in one piece.
Personally I am trying to slowly transition myself into a more holistic lifestyle and figuring out what that looks like for me because I am a very picky person and I like things a certain way. Even though I tried to patch and it wasn’t a great experience for me and I can’t follow swallow pills and the implant messes with my emotions and condoms are a 98% chance effective I am now moving on to try the ring which is the birth-control that you insert in your vagina for three weeks. Hopefully this one works out for me and I don’t have any side effects that are too overwhelming and difficult for me personally to deal with but we will see in three months.
Thanks for reading as always and let me know your own personal stories with birth control below in the comments, have you ever taken birth control? Do you want to take birth control? Do you want to have kids but not right now? Please let me know down below in the comments and follow us on Instagram and let us know your thoughts there as well.