Shayberry Blogs

7 Ways to wear a collared button down

Recently I have been going through a wardrobe re-vamping trying to figure out what my style is. In the process of taking quizzes and digging through my closet to see what I actually like and what was just trendy, I discovered tons of information about fast fashion (inexpensive clothing produced rapidly by mass-market retailers in response to the latest trends) the problem with this is when the trends go out of style we throw out these once trendy clothes and buy more. All of this goes out into the landfill creating massive havoc of the ecosystem. Here is a video essay by Jordan Theresa who can colorfully breakdown this topic of fast fashion.

After watching her video I went down a whirl pool of videos on YouTube about what affect companies like pretty little thing and fashionnova who produce fast fashion are having on our planet. It was honestly very informative and depressing. so instead of buying my new wardrobe I am challenging myself to thrift those pieces instead.

I have always long adored the effortless minimalist fashion look. That is the revamped look ✨minimalism✨ you know the I woke up like this, fabulously put together with a snap of a finger look.

In honor of Trying to reduce my carbon foot print and have a more eco friendly and sustainable closet I am creating a capsule wardrobe (a capsule wardrobe is a wardrobe containing a certain number of pieces that you can create 10-20 outfits out of.) Having a capsule wardrobes is what I am told will help me look put together and will cause less stress when looking for an outfit.

unfortunately I went shopping before I learned all this information and bought a few pieces from Zara 1 of them being the infamous white collard button down shirt. It was pretty pricey but it has lasted me a few wash cycles and is still in great shape.

How to style a white collared button down

#1 Tuck in your shirt.

#2. Wear open over a tank or camisole

#3. Tie up I’m the front

#4. T-shirt dress shirt only no pants

#5. Wear it under a sweater !

#6 Rachel from friends look

#7. Off the shoulders

As you can see the iconic white collared shirt is indeed a must have. All these women’s outfits included this top and is giving off an entirely different vibe from preppy to classy to chill.

If you have yet to get yourself this top hurry up and treat yourself girl! Please remember to shop ethically and thrift some pieces if possible. With the internet these days you don’t need to run around and dig through big bins and racks. also Sale some of your excellent condition clothing and help reduce the impact that our consumership has on Mother Earth while also making a bit of money back. It’s a win win.

Comment down below you favorite style with this top and your favorite ethical brands!

3 Wild tips on staying celibate while dating

It’s been 1 year 2 months since I made a vow of celibacy and it’s going strong. I’m never gonna lie to you guys, I’m a very intimate person I move quickly to the sex part of the relationship may be because deep down I feel that’s how to keep them close around or I really just like sex or even BOTH!

My Latest Temptation

Recently like 3 or 4 months ago I started talking to this guy I had a fling with back in 2017. I was a sophomore in high school at the time and he was a junior, I met him during summer school that year through another guy I was involved with…(shh) let’s call him “Ken” any way Ken started walking me home because we lived in the same direction over the next few days our relationship had progressed the other guy we met through would walk me to the train where ken had already been and we’d both get on the train leaving the other guy. Soon after We started making out on my porch, in allies, and in restaurants too. We were young and Horny.

We stayed in contact over the years but we never became an item he moved to school across the country. There was no heartfelt goodbye because we never were involved in that emotional way. We just proceeded with our lives. Now he’s back been back for awhile physically but now he’s back talking to me. we are texting throughout the day and sometimes at night and we meet up and hang out randomly if we are free. We basically play everything by ear.

We have been in communication for about 3 months now. I think I like him but I’ve decided to stop contacting him for a few days because I’m starting to redevelop lusty feelings for him. Even though I’ve never slept with him I want to. Sometimes when its dark outside and everyone’s gone to bed we sext and that has been very helpful on some lonely nights.

Dealing with those lonely nights

Just because you’re celibate doesn’t mean that you have to be horny and lonely. You set up your own limits, You are in charge, if you only want to hold off a few months do that if it’s only a week do that! Set up your goals based on what’s best for you!

Some of you know how I got twisted up after my breakup and made some “out there” decisions (sleeping around) *cough cough* and I decided to be real with the realest on my team… My-MF-self and we decided we didn’t want this for ourselves. Sleeping around and avoiding my feelings isn’t who I am. Soon after I embarked on a journey to this very tricky world of celibacy and I am learning how to navigate my new life.

My new/old entanglement was/is based on our sexual attraction to each other. This is why I’m not sure I like him because it could just be my hormones screaming for some nice, deep, long, passionate, and hot sex. Sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve had the real thing and not just a toy lol.

Some things that have helped me stay in control when I get hot and bothered is Masturbation! It is the BEST thing to do when fighting off lusty sexual tension. I know some of you will say that I shouldn’t but I beg to differ. When you touch yourself you learn more about yourself. It’s apart of self-discovery just not the part of self-discovery that people talk about.

Obviously, the “easiest” way to not be tempted is by avoiding sexual and tempting interaction with that person. This is what most people say but I disagree because the more I have to stay away the more I want them the more I crave their touch and the way they make me feel and how I could make them feel. it consumes you all the sexual thoughts, all the imagining. It’s the worst temptation you could possibly have.

Dating while keeping a vow to yourself is hard! Especially if you really like this person and when they say cute things to you and give you butterflies you just want to jump their bones. yeah me too. I would like to recommend masturbating before you go out with that person so that you are less likely to be swayed to sleep with them because you’ve already made a release.

Warning this tip isn’t for everyone especially if you don’t have much willpower. Try discussing masturbating with each other next to each other or on the phone. This is if you two are serious not just want to be together without being together. Tantric sex can be very sexy alone or with someone. The sole purpose is to be intentional and notice what pleases you gradually leading up to orgasm. please be with someone who understands your vow and also respects it. when you are tempted to go further one of you has to stop the other not talk them into it because trust me you will be feeling icky in the morning. Regret.

Telling them you are waiting.

It’s very important to tell your partner that you are waiting in the beginning. One thing I’ve learned during this pandemic is that many of us don’t know how much time we have left. I would hate to waste any of my years, months, and days on someone who Is just in the way of my goals and add no real value to my life. That is why it’s important to not only date someone who knows where you stand with your celibacy vow but respects it.

So many people are just hypersexual and sexualize everything and anyone. Like I said before I think this is because no one speaks about sexual practices they spend so much time trying to restrict teens in their young days than actually talk to them about Sex. During your celibacy journey, you may start to notice how “interested” people are in you V.S. your body.

When I told “Ken” I was very adult about it lol. Nervous still but he couldn’t tell. I just brought it up like it was normal because it is and said what I needed to (not in detail) I tried to answer any questions he had about when I might be ready and what that meant for our intimate relationship.

I know these arent the tips you were expecting but if you are open to it I think you should try them. The worst thing that happens is you learn what doesn’t work for you and who really wants to be with you vs just in you. As always lovelies follow my blog to be notified when I post and comment on your own stories and thoughts.

DIY Room Decor – Refurbish old furniture for under $20

There comes a time in everyone’s life when we feel the need to change. A random burst of “I need to change my life” the “I can do better” energy that leads us to dye our eyebrows and hair NEON Fucking PINK! Yup, I did that too.

Sometimes we don’t always want to ruin our hair sometimes we set new goals to give us something to work on or throw ourselves into our work.

Perhaps even redecorating your space in a positive way instead of broken objects, shoes and clothes tossed everywhere because you’re having an emotional breakdown. If you are anything like me shopping does the trick! Retail therapy is real IDC, IDC, IDC ( la la la la ) Sure it breaks your pockets in the long run but you can’t deny it makes you feel good.

I don’t know about you but I’m broke! I definitely don’t have money to waste every time I’m sad ( which is a lot) So this time I spent under $50 on 2 simple amazon items that really switched up my rooms whole vibe. I live in a two-bedroom apartment with my mother and sister my room has never been my own it’s never just what I want its 50/50 (not complaining). Also, I had limits on what I could add or remove as I mentioned before I live in an apartment. I don’t drill anything in the walls because we are renters.

This is going to be a cute, easy, fun, cheap, DIY, that anyone can do in any place. Just making slight adjustments to larger furniture in your bedroom can change something from basic to luxury. Take my old white dresser that was literally falling apart! I’ve had this dresser for over 3 years and the handles were giving out on me, screws were falling and the dresser had stains.

Items needed

Contact paper

New dresser handles

Before changing your handles make sure you measure the drill holes mine were 3’’- 3 ½’ I got mine from amazon.

Before starting

Measure the space between your drill holes Before changing your handles. Mine were 3’’- 3 ½’ and I got mine from amazon.
Research room Inspiration and pick out handles based on that or on what ever vibe your room gives you.

Directions

Clean the surface– I used regular awesome all-purpose cleaning spray to get it as clean and smooth as possible. We don’t want any marking or lumps we could avoid.
Unscrew old handles – Remove old handles using lefty loosey, righty tight method with the screwdriver.
Put in new handles – Again, using lefty loosey, righty tight method with the screwdriver place new handles on.

Check out the improvement from drag to fab yes! And it was less than 10 bucks

How to apply contact paper -from basic to bad bitch

To kick it up a notch, I added a black & grey marble contact paper (a giant sticker) to the surface of my dresser which is why it’s important to have a clean flat surface if it’s to look right. I decided to use Contact paper because I knew I might fuck up! Its so easy to fix, just pull it up!

Before starting

Measure your surface (walls, dresser, pantry, etc)
Cut out desired shape and amount

Directions

Peel back the paper part and apply evenly and slowly ( to keep smooth with no bubbles use something flat and sturdy to smooth out the air bubbles be sure it won’t rip the paper.
Make necessary adjustment ( reposition, cut off extra pieces)

Here is the final results ! I spent overall less than $25 dollars for these two DIY’s. Hope y’all liked this tutorial on cheap & Cute ways to decorate your room using DIY’s, all furniture isn’t dead sometimes you just need to add a little touch up. As usual if you try this out leave a comment. Check out my previous post –3 Wild tips to stay celibate. Until next time loves 🙂

Holiday Dessert- Betty Crocker Cookie Brownies

During the holidays we eat tons of sweet treats cakes, pies and cookies. This year Instead of making a traditional holiday dessert such as a ginger bread house or Christmas tree sugar cookies.

I went to the store and bought one of the infamous Betty Crocker desserts for just $1.39 and it has rocked my world ! It’s super soft and moist inside, you can definitely taste all of the sweet flavor in the cookie brownie. If you’re looking for an easy and delicious dessert look no further !

Let’s start baking some delicious Cookie Brownies!

Prep 15 MIN
Total 1 HR 50 MIN
Servings 20

Cookie Layer

1 pouch (1 lb 1.5 oz) Betty Crocker™ cookie mix chocolate chip

4 tablespoons butter or margarine, softened

1 tablespoon

water 1 egg

Brownie Layer

1box (1 lb 2.3 oz) Betty Crocker™ brownie mix fudge

1/4 cup water

2/3 cup vegetable oil

2 eggs

Steps

Heat oven to 350°F. Line 13×9-inch pan with foil. Spray with cooking spray.
In medium bowl, stir Cookie Layer ingredients until soft dough forms. Press mixture evenly in bottom of pan.
In medium bowl, stir Brownie Layer ingredients until well blended. Spread on top of cookie layer in pan.
Bake 33 to 38 minutes or until brownies are set around edges and toothpick inserted 2 inches from side of pan comes out almost clean. Cool completely in pan on cooling rack, about 1 hour. Remove from pan; pull away foil. Cut into 5 rows by 4 rows.

Nutrition Facts

Serving Size: 1 Serving

Calories 300 Calories from Fat 130 Total Fat 14g 22% Saturated Fat 4 1/2g 23% Trans Fat 0g Cholesterol 35mg 11% Sodium 200mg 8% Potassium 85mg 2% Total Carbohydrate 41g 14% Dietary Fiber 1g 4% Sugars 28g Protein 2g

% Daily Value*:

Vitamin A 2% Vitamin C 0% Calcium 0% Iron 6%

You don’t have to only have this sweet treat during the falalala days. Make them anytime its easy and delicious only an hour & 30 min to prepare+bake. Please check out this incredible Recipe by Ms. Betty Crocker. Also share & Comment what you think about this sweet dessert!

What it’s really like to go to therapy.

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to go to therapy? Or thought man I’m really having these crazy mental images and thoughts and I think I really need to see somebody? Well that’s great let’s talk I have been going to therapy for 8 months now and it’s nothing like I thought it would be television definitely lied !

Number one. That comfortable chair that you always see people talking to a therapist in doesn’t even look like that my therapist office has a regular chair not a loveseat.

Number 2. They actually don’t solve your problem they give you the space for you to solve your own problems. I legit went to therapy because I was having a really bad depressive episode and I did not feel like myself and I made the decision to talk to someone about that and they recommend it to me that I go get tested for bipolar. That didn’t lead me to my therapist and she is super great, But I don’t always find her helpful and that’s OK I know that. I was going to therapy to look for someone to give me the answers and I found myself using my own brain to answer questions already knew the answer to but with another person there.

Number three. Therapy does not work unless you work and I say that because I go to therapy once a month and I also do Coke counseling once a week and call counseling is when you sit down with someone and you each give each other it doesn’t need an amount of time to be in a sex space and talk about whatever they want to talk about and discharge with them past traumas and triggers. I would not be able to really communicate or talk or be excepting of some of the things that I am up right now if it wasn’t for those things shining light on some not so pretty areas and work on them and even sometimes tell me how I can work on those things and let him giving me room to really think about that and reflect on that and that has been really helpful but if I had been very close minded from the jump I probably would not have been able to admit that I hated myself during that time.

Number 4. Therapy is not scary. Therapy I have found to be very helpful just because talking to someone anyone is always helpful especially when the problem is that you feel alone and empty and depressed.

Number 5. Therapist do not give you medication that would be a psychiatrist. When I started to attend therapy and I took my quiz for the bipolar and it turns out that I did not have bipolar but I had hi anxiety with underlying depression my therapist help me set up an appointment with the clinic psychiatrist who then asked me another set of questions to confirm with my therapist was thinking and then asked me if I would like to get on medication I personally said no because I don’t like the way that medication makes people feel also I smoke a lot of weed and I just don’t think smoking marijuana and being on like antidepressants is a good combination so that just wasn’t a smart decision for me but that may be a smart decision for you if that something you feel that you would need.

Number 6. Be free be honest and be real with yourself with your therapist with your psychiatrist figure out what you need what you want in those sessions because ultimately the sessions are happening so that we can get to the root of the problem but if you’re going to Lions beat around the bush you’re not gonna get better in therapy may not be helpful for you.